My mantra for today

"In childhood our basic beliefs and values are defined by our understanding of what love is, how it is to be shared, who we need to be in order to receive it, and how we should express our male/female essence. As adults we still enter our relationships based on these early-formed constructs of love, with the illusion that we are mature adults who have a clear understanding of love. The effects of childhood conditioning are nevertheless enduring and impact our ability to deepen in love. In many ways, we use our partners to fill holes and express the parts of us that have been repressed for different reasons. Deeply understanding the value we carry for one another as men and women is essential for relationships to become platforms for deepening and healing. Love relationships carry immense potential for growth and healing, and are a part of our spiritual journey in this life. Missing this wider perspective of the dynamics of love makes relationships flat and based solely on fulfilling needs. The more awareness we have of our own patterns and needs, the more likely we are to communicate in balanced, loving, and responsible ways opposite our partners."

Reference: www.milankarmeli.com

ps: "Healthy contracts are made in order to bring clarity into a relationship and not deadness or loyalty"!!! good one:)

Iubire si ura. Ura si iubire

Iubirea creeaza legaturi. Ura la fel. Iubirea elibereaza. Ura te tine prizonier; pe tine, dar si pe ceilalti care stau prizonieri in tine. Iubirea energizeaza. Ura te epuizeaza. Decat sa fie singur, abandonat, copilul prefera sa se uneasca prin ura cu parintele/parintii lui care nu stiu/ pot sa aiba grija de el. Sa nu mai urasti inseamna sa te separi.
Remember to love, I'm begging you! E ok sa renunti la ura; nu vei ramane singura!

Life I want is mediocre...according to some standards

2 articole mi-au adus speranta zilele astea: cele de mai jos (ok, si week-end-ul cu L, Therme, tenisul la perete, prietenii, plimbarea prin parc:)

https://nosidebar.com/life-you-want/
https://nosidebar.com/mediocre-life/

what's the stake? care e miza? imi tot pun intrebarea asta cu speranta ca apare vreo luminita in capul meu. de ce ne agitam ca nebunii? de ce punem atat presiune pe noi si pe cei din jurul nostru? de ce pun eu atata presiune pe mine?...cateodata imi pare ca intrevad raspunsul/ raspunsurile: daca ai mei nu au avut x, y, z sau nu au fost fericiti, cine sunt eu sa am/sa fiu? la naiba cu conditionarile astea! si cu obisnuintele astea...m-am obisnuit cu graba, cu "a alerga",
in fond, vreau sa fiu fericita: linistita, sa fiu eu, sa fiu si sa ma simt lilbera, sa pot calatori, sa vorbesc liber, sa nu ma cenzurez, sa fiu prietena cu cine vreau (si cu cine vrea sa fie prieten cu mine), sa am timp pentru ceea ce imi place sa fac, sa fac o munca care imi face placere si sa castig bine iar nevoile mele si dorintele sa imi fie satisfacute. Si le doresc asta tuturor. E oare imposibil in viata asta, pe pamantul asta, in dimensiunea asta?
sa ne intelegem: nu vreau castele, sa mananc caviar si sa ma imbrac de la vreun designer, nici sa am ultimul model de geanta/telefon/masina sau altceva. nu mai vreau insa sa fiu un soricel  care se invarte in rotita! how bold you should be to make the change?
to be continued